One Foot in the Grave (Halflife Chronicles Book 1), by William Mark Simmons
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One Foot in the Grave (Halflife Chronicles Book 1), by William Mark Simmons
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UNFORTUNATELY, THEY BELIEVE IN HIM...Christopher Csejthe doesn't believe in vampires. Not until he becomes one. He doesn't believe in witches or werewolves, either. Not until they make him an offer he can't refuse....Flight of the Living DeadA scream sliced the night air—an animal sound as far removed from a human voice as the previous scream of tortured metal. It was a sound that went on and on as we hurried toward the RV. Mooncloud yanked the passenger door open and then ran around to the driver's side as I climbed up onto the bench seat. As she slid behind the wheel the other woman leapt from the building's rear doorway, sailing over the stairs and landing on the ground below. As she crouched on the asphalt, there was a shattering roar that canceled out the screaming. A ball of flame rolled out from the doorway like an orange party favor, licking the air just a few feet above her head.Mooncloud threw the van in gear and brought it skidding around as the blaze snapped back through the opening.Before I could reach for the door handle the woman was springing through the open window to land across my lap."Go!" she shouted, but Mooncloud was already whipping the vehicle in a tight turn and accelerating toward the parking lot's north exit. The speed bump smacked my head against the roof of the cab and, by the time my vision cleared, we were driving more sedately down a side street, the woman with the crossbow sitting between me and the passenger door. In the rear-view mirror a pillar of flame was climbing from the roof of the old dormitory that housed the radio station.I shook my head to clear away the last of the planetarium show and gripped the dashboard. "Will somebody please tell me what's going on?""It's very simple, Mr. Csejthe," Dr. Mooncloud said, pressing a button that locked the cab doors. "You are a dead man."At the publisher's request, this title is sold without DRM (Digital Rights Management).
One Foot in the Grave (Halflife Chronicles Book 1), by William Mark Simmons - Amazon Sales Rank: #687321 in eBooks
- Published on: 2015-10-28
- Released on: 2015-10-28
- Format: Kindle eBook
One Foot in the Grave (Halflife Chronicles Book 1), by William Mark Simmons From the Back Cover UNFORTUNATELY, THEY BELIEVE IN HIM...
Christopher Csejthe doesn't believe in vampires. Not until he becomes one. He doesn't believe in witches or werewolves, either. Not until they make him an offer he can't refuse....
About the Author William Mark Simmons is the author of five novels; his first, In The Net of Dreams, was a finalist for the Compton Crook Award and made the LOCUS "Best" list in 1991. That novel, with its two sequels, When Dreams Collide and The Woman of His Dreams, have recently been published in one hardcover volume by Meisha Merlin Publishing. For Baen he wrote the popular and critically praised One Foot in the Grave, to which Dead on My Feet is a sequel. Simmons has worked as a teacher, actor, director, musician, and entertainer, hosting his own shows on both television and radio while winning awards as a journalist and copywriter. He currently manages a public radio station in Louisiana, hosts a classical music program, and is an adjunct faculty member of the University of Louisiana at Monroe.
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Most helpful customer reviews
105 of 107 people found the following review helpful. Bought it on a whim By mellion108 I like the cover art on this paperback as well as the description of it as "Dracula meets the Godfather". I figured it would be good for some cheesy vampire action; you know, one of those books you have to read because it's so laughingly bad. I'm pleased to say I was completely wrong! The novel begins with Chris Csejthe trying to find a cure for the mysterious disease that started to plague him shortly after the deaths of his wife and daughter. Chris, who narrates the story, then finds himself in the middle of a bizarre life-or-death situation while two powerful vampire "families" (in the mob sense) fight over him. Turns out Chris is in the middle of vampire transformation; neither human nor vampire, Chris begins an adventure of discovering who he is, testing his new powers, and solving the mystery of the tragedy that took the people he loved. Along the way he meets Dr. Mooncloud, Bassarab, Lupe, Suki, Elizabeth, and a whole slew of other-worldly creatures such as elves, goblins, dryads, nagas, knockers, sprites, and many others. All the while, he narrates the events around him with sarcastic humor, literary references and some healthy wariness. Any vampire novel that can weave an enchanting tale of an alternate history such as this while quoting Sappho, Yeats, Victor Hugo, Donne, Wordsworth, Oscar Wilde etc. deserves more recognition! Simmons has created a fascinating world filled with funny, intelligent characters. The dialogue is snappy, the plot is filled with twists and turns, the story is suspenseful, and the book itself is impossible to put down. I am so pleasantly surprised by this novel, and I sincerely hope that Simmons will revisit these characters and give us a sequel! I found this book in the fantasy/sci-fi section, but it easily crosses into horror, humor, drama as well. It has something for everyone: humor, action (you'll find lots of weapons and methods of killing without intense graphic gore), suspense, mystery, fantasy. Buy it, you won't be disappointed.
15 of 15 people found the following review helpful. scattered and illogical but great puns and wisecracks By R. Kelly Wagner OK, I am a sucker for good dialog. I love puns. I love snappy comebacks. And this book is loaded with them. That's the good news. The bad news: the plot is thin, hard to follow. A few characters are fully fleshed out (as it were) but many are sketchy, and many are killed off before we get to know them. The motives can be confusing. Count Dracula isn't really Count Dracula, and we don't ever really find out who he is.Nonetheless, it was so much fun to read. I kept quoting bits of the dialog to my significant other.Some of BunRab's Standard Vampire Classification: -Series: if it is, it's the first one. -Significant genre it comes from: Fantasy/humor. -Does the vampire hold a job? Well sort of, although he loses it in the course of the book. -Do the vampires drink blood? Yes, though it can be animal instead of human. -Is drinking blood a metaphor for sex? No, although it can occur during sex. -Is there a lot of sex? Nope, and not much detail for what there is. -Are there other supernatural characters? Yup, and a few too many of them, if you ask me. Introducing umpteen different subspecies of elves was an unnecessary complication. -Is it deadly serious (pardon the pun)? Nope, I believe I've addressed that. I mean, we have vampires with library cards picking up girls at the research desk, for pete's sake. -Is it well written? Well, the dialogue is great, the plotting and resolution a little less great. But it's not hard to read, and it's acceptable for fantasy.Incidentally, I worked for a department store credit department in a large city with lots of ethnic population, so I knew how to pronounce Csejthe right off the bat. The book finally does explain it after a bit.
13 of 14 people found the following review helpful. The Baen Vampire Book. By Amazon Customer I love this book. The combination of mystery, thriller, and coming of age (in an extended sense) novel works very well. The characters are interesting, the plot isn't monotonous or predictable, and the whole concept of vampirism as a virus (not totally original) is intreaguing; however, this is definately a Baen book. Like most Baen books, this one is character centered and the character "comes of age" in a sense. The dialogue and first person point of view monologue, also typical of Baen books, is lightly sarcastic, with the sarcasim takes the form of many references to the literary world (other Baen books make well researched references to music groups or historical details). Finally, there isn't too much angst. All in all, its a feel good novel w/ just enough tension for the reader to appreciate the good parts.What is a Baen book? Baen is the publishing imprint that publishes (or used to publish) most of fantasy by the following authors: Mercedes Lackey, David Weber, Ellen Guon, and Mark Shepperd. In general, I characterize them as older adolescent or adult fun books. They tend to fit in about a PG-13 or light R rating, with just enough sex and violence to be interesting without being overwhelming.If you like this, I recommend the following vampire books/series: Mercedes Lackey's "Children of the Night," Susan Sizemore's Laws of the Blood Bk. #1 "The Hunt," and Hays & McCalls' "The Cowboy and the Vampire"So, why the four stars? Well, it just isn't as good as Christopher Golden's The Shadow Saga trilogy or Tanja Huff's Blood Series (both of which lean towards series R ratings or, in the case of Golden's series, towards an NC-17 rating).
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